by Barbara Nesbitt

I haven’t written my Reflections for awhile now but I received an email this morning that made me sit back and "reflect" on our lives and how we are so important to each other. It always amazes me to find that even if we don’t know someone we have at times the opportunity to reach out and help them. I’m talking "small picture" here. I’m not talking about changing the world here as that is something too big for this gal; but I am talking about reaching out to others in small ways and making a difference. A very nice women wrote to me this morning and her message was short and to the point. No name, no further message. Just these words: "Thank you for your concern. I am going to go to a hospital and get help before I do something to myself. I just want me back."


So it seems that maybe a response to the Women’s Health Forum that I made this week reached someone that I will never meet or ever know. It is from someone that has never posted to the forum but must read it and saw my response to someone else and it moved them to make a decision about their own health.

When we think of health we most often think, Physical Health. This is an important part of our health of course but not the whole thing. Mental Health is also important and a lot of the time it goes hand in hand with our physical well being. I am a Great Believer in "what goes in comes out". If we are suffering from mental anguishes and it goes beyond our ability to cope with the day to day problems of life then we are in big trouble. Our immune system goes out of whack and the next thing that happens is we get physically ill. Now we do have something the matter with us. Now we have something to go to the doctor for. But if we fail to tell him/her about what is Really troubling us we can never get well.

Mental health has a stigma attached to it. It is often looked on as a weakness by the folks that have it as well as by their loved ones. People suffering from depression feel as if they are letting their family down. Loved ones feel as if they have let you down. This is the greatest cause of shame and shame is the name of the game in depression. Our minds play little games with us and tell us that we should be happy, that we have no reason to be depressed and that there is something lacking in us if we can’t overcome it. Families feel as if nothing they do is good enough! Well folks there is Nothing you can do that is good enough…your loved one needs professional help and the single best thing you can do for them is to encourage them, take them by the hand, make that appointment for them, go with them, seek professional help. When we have a huge cut on our body we run to a surgeon to sew it up and make us well again. With depression we need to run to a trained mental health provider and let them help sew up our broken spirit. Being well again, mentally as well as physically is the greatest gift I have Ever given myself.

I will always be a firm believer in good medical care for depression. I have seen it work first hand. My life is so full now and each day is a blessing and a joy to see unfold. I live an active, rewarding life and look forward to many good years ahead. I make plans for next year. I enjoy today. I love my family and friends and they love the new "healthy" me. I don’t cry and pity myself anymore. I take what comes and call it "life". I laugh a lot now. I remember when my own laughter was what I missed the most. I am glad it has returned. It was tough work and a long hard fight but it was worth every bit of the struggle. I am "me" again. I even believe I’m a better me, this time around. My sister came to my rescue and helped me make the decision to seek professional help. It was not an easy thing for either of us to admit to or to do; but it made such a wonderful difference in "our" lives that I thank God every day that we did it. Our relationship is based on truth and at that time in my life when I was unable to make truthful decisions for myself she stepped up and took on the role of "Barbara" and helped me make them for myself.

If you know someone that is hurting, and sad for no reason or for some big reason, and they can’t cope with their life at this time, make a commitment to them to help. Guide them with love and compassion and bring them to someone that can make them whole again. We can’t change the world but just sometimes we can change a small part of it. We can change the course of the life of a loved one. We can be there when they are too weak to be there for themselves. Our strength is what they need. We can love them but if we do nothing we fail them. Love is not enough. They need to be made well again. They need us to not judge. They need us to believe that they will get whole. They need us to believe that this to will pass……. I like to remember that life is wonderful and we should enjoy it, as it’s the only one we will ever have!

Do You know someone that needs your strength? Reach out and help before it’s too late.

Hugs,

Barbara


About the author:
Barbara Nesbitt is the Editor-in-Chief of OBGYN.net